#GORGOgirl: TracI Melgar
/The Struggle is Part of the Adventure
Honored, humbled, excited, panicked. Those are emotions connected with adventure. The adventure of sharing. The adventure of attending Camp Gorgo last year alone at 57. The adventure to learn to be a better small business owner.
March 19, 2020: my 58th birthday
Struggling with the transition to online fitness training with my demographic as the vast majority are in the “high risk" category for no reason other than age. They are also not, for the majority, technologically versed or familiar. Truthfully, neither am I. While I’ve dabbled, nothing has gone as expected. I over think, over plan and find myself exhausted trying to learn lighting, the view of streaming, and anticipating uncontrollable unexpected factors that present daily. What an adventure!
Let’s add that even though I am incredibly blessed and grateful to have my 9-year-old granddaughter flattening the curve with me, (her mom is single and a police officer) I have also put on the “at home, online teacher” hat.
Teaching has always been a passion regardless of the subject. Whether it was my years of traditional education by grade, Survival Spanish, ESL, Fitness, or how to help save Monarch butterflies, that is not the struggle. That’s the adventure that calls to me. This online, relying on technology, waiting for responses to email, receipt of lessons to accomplish our goals, that’s the challenge.
I have three amazing grown children. Two live about an hour away and the other resides in DC. Facing this birthday in a bit of a pity party as my husband is at work (essential workforce keeping UPS Aircraft safely in the air), I have to put in three hours of continued streaming with my fit groups, make sure my granddaughter gets her online lessons accomplished, and struggle with the idea of driving the hour to meet up with my three children. Yes my three children! An unexpected death of a close prominent friend has driven my oldest son to make a trip to Kentucky and it happened to coincide with my birthday. It will, if I choose to go, be the first birthday with all my children together in five years.
I am anxious, nervous, stressed. I am trying to be responsible but the Mother’s heart within wants desperately to be with her children on her birthday. My daughter calls needing to shift our gathering time a little earlier due to an unexpected mandatory meeting at the precinct. No more time to think. If I am going to go I have to just do it. Slightly exhausted and anxious upon arrival, I have a myriad of emotions and thoughts running through my brain. I look old, I feel old, medical issues including debilitating chronic migraines have taken their toll on my weight and my energy. Why does it take a funeral to get my son home? Is my daughter safe or exposed as an officer posted at the official testing hospital for this virus. Am I endangering myself or my granddaughter?
I get up to my son's room at the downtown hotel at which he is staying. We knock, no answer. my stomach tightens. My phone rings. I hear my son say, “Hey mom where are you?”. I repeat the same as I am worrying how we will all be safely and comfortably in a hotel room. He tells me he is in the Lobby and to come back down. I am now worried my children are not taking this pandemic seriously. Once I return to the lobby, my son greets me with “Hi beautiful, Happy Birthday!” He leads me into an empty dining hall he has reserved for the afternoon with private meal and drink service. Every negative thought and emotion from stress melts and I spend five glorious hours with my three children and granddaughter seated around a banquet table laughing, talking, eating, and drinking. I am thoroughly enjoying the adventure of my 58th birthday amidst the Corona Virus Pandemic! I stepped out of fear, into the unknown and uncomfortable, to enjoy the adventure.
Adventure including struggle brought me to Camp Gorgo last year by myself. As a small fitness business owner I wanted to learn to be better at what I feel led to do. I wanted to learn that specifically from Women and certainly women in the business. A friend connected me with the Gorgo online group. I decided to dive in and commit to camp, as it was basically in my own backyard after all.
From last minute strangers welcoming me to be their roomies and having the exact same dress for formal night, to meeting one of the most outgoing friendly newbies at the Meet and Greet, embracing it “All In" and accidentally getting into a car of the most hilarious Gorgo girls ever! (clown car travel at its finest!), one of two mermaids and yes again same dress different color at the formal.
Absorbing, learning, experiencing and connecting with the strengths of so many incredibly amazing women.
Wow what an adventure!
Was I nervous and uncomfortable at moments? Yes, but every woman I had any amount of connection with erased them. The adventure made the struggle worth it. In the pressures and stresses of life, we might get so discouraged, and in our head, that we miss it. It is not about the struggle. It is about finding, owning, and finally beginning to understand our own story, struggles included. This in truth is our adventure. I will forever be grateful for the uncomfortable struggles that brought me to the blessed adventure of a Gorgo Girl.
Step out. Experience the uncomfortable and the amazing; the adventure. Just maintain a safe social distance and flatten the curve till this adventure passes.
"Attitude is the difference between an Adventure and an ordeal"
- Bob Goff-Live in Grace Walk in Love
